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Sacrificial Thanksgiving Lamb

At one point I was living in the pastors home for awhile after I was released from the hospital following being burned.

On Thanksgiving Day Cleo and Felix were also invited to eat Thanksgiving Dinner at their home.  They knew of the allegations.  It was particularly known concerning the allegations against Felix because he had also been accused of attempting to molest another little girl from the Christian school.

I was scared.  Why had Cleo and Felix been invited?

Not only was I afraid of Cleo,  but I knew Cleo would most likely be on her best behavior in front of Mrs. Pastor’s wife.

I was terrified of what Felix would do if he had any opportunity at all.

I was not only scared for myself, I was scared for the pastor and the pastors wife two daughters who were minors at the time.  I knew Felix would try to do something to myself and to those girls.

Felix is the ultimate predator.

I followed the two teenage pastors daughters around as if I were glued to their backs.  Being teenage girls they were more than a little annoyed that they couldn’t shake their tale.

During the middle of dinner Felix excused himself to the restroom.  A few moments later Felix calls out that there wasn’t any toilet paper.

I knew what he was planning.  He was planning to “accidentally” expose himself and worse to which ever unfortunate girl was chosen to fetch a roll of toilet paper.  

I volunteered.  I thought I would have a better chance at avoiding Felix since I had become accustomed to his tricks.

I retrieved a roll of toilet paper from the hall closet.  And I attempted to quickly toss the roll inside the bathroom door.

Felix was too quick for me.  He grabbed my wrist and pulled me into the bathroom with him.  He told me to perform oral sex and threatened me….if I said a word, the pastor would kick me out of his home right away.

Within about a week or so, I was back on the farm with Cleo and Felix. At the time, I thought the pastor had somehow found out, but that wasn’t the case.  It turns out the reason  Cleo and Felix were invited for Thanksgiving was so Cleo could “restore” her relationship with me as it was the plan all along I was to return to the farm.

The two daughters didn’t know until many years later that little Fifth-Grade me was hell-bent on protecting them.  Although they remember Cleo and Felix being invited for that Thanksgiving dinner, When I told them as an adult, their eyes glazed-over as I recounted what happened.  I tend to think they still do not believe or comprehend what happened that Thanksgiving Day 1976.

To be honest, considering what I know the pastor knew, it is a baffling mystery why Felix allowed to be within ten miles of the pastors own young daughters.

Psalm 56-8


We are nearing the end of Sexual Assault Awareness Month.

We currently have only a little over 2000 signatures.      

We can do better.  

Please sign and share the following petition asking all professing Christians to better address and deal appropriately with the subject of sexual abuse in faith communities.

A Public Statement Concerning Sexual Abuse in the Church of Jesus Christ by Godly Response to Abuse in the Christian Environment (G.R.A.C.E.).




5 thoughts on “Sacrificial Thanksgiving Lamb

  1. I’m sure you know this already, but NONE of what happened to you was your fault. Those who perpetrated this horrific abuse and those who knew but did nothing will answer for that, no matter who they are.

  2. I hope The Lord will continue to heal you. I believe all of your story. These IFB churches and BJU are all intercone ted. The new president of BJU is already working with Chuck Phelps family. I am a retired criminal investigator and I believe that abuse of children is wide spread in IFB community . Hopefully grace will expose some of this and criminal prosecutions will follow.

  3. Wow. Only a 5th grader but you were so protective and brave. You knew what was bound to happen, but you weren’t willing for anyone else to suffer the same fate. This article was very aptly named. Thank you for sharing and helping others.

  4. Dear Cathy I also grew up under the hyles, weniger, bob jones, rice influence and married a man who did the same thing. we started understanding all you have talked about at an early age. Trying to get out of that caused our parents to almost disown us. One of our sons married a young lady who had been abused by her family and totally could not function as a normal person after marriage. Her family totally denies her story and yet we have found so much proof to the contrary. Our dilemma is that we have tried to go to churches and the circle of these people seems never ending and always the same. We wish that you would let us know who those people are so that all of us could fight against them and not subject by accident our family to their influence. It has hurt our family terribly especially my husbands mother who WAS married to a carl mcintire type but my husband was smart enough to help her get away before she was totally destroyed. Any advice you could give us about association that we could use and also pass on to our three children would be so much appreciated. We were also dismissed from BJ by the mr jim berg for talking after hours in 1980 but luckily we were meant for each other and now have been married for 33 years. My daughter and I train horses every day for many people and it is wonderful that my husband supports us in every way while he runs his own business. Freedom to love and live is a wonderful thing. You can respond to my email directly if that is possible.
    Thank you for the encouragement even after all you have been through.



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